I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
To the genius that put everclear in my humidifier: your time is coming.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Randomize
