My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize
