bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
