My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Hahaha you puked all over his shirt.
You puked in the planter and everyone saw your snatch.
Well someones bitter they didn't get any.
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
Randomize
