Me too!
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just Miyagied my roommate through her first set of tit pics. Her fuck buddy owes me.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Randomize
