My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
how the hell did we fit 12 drunk lesbians in your car?! I felt like we were playing lesbian tetris last night.
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Dude with the Beatles haircut just got his pilots license and wants to take us up to do a case race mid flight. Don't tell me networking is unnecessary.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
Im riding the bus with beer in one hand and chapagne in the other. I love weddings.
Randomize