Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
The second he texted me with "*dry humps you!*" I knew any relationship we might have had was over.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Randomize
