i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I had a dream last night that I answered the phone and after I said hello, Shia Lebeouf started yelling "DO IT! JUST DO IT!" That's when I knew, I had officially become meme trash.
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize
