My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
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