That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Randomize