one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Also I'd like you to set a calendar reminder that goes off every day for you to take 2 minutes to think about what your life would be like without me.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
He has a wall filled with panties from past hook ups. So no, I didn't fuck him.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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