I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
you were stealing lawn gnomes and punching cars. I'm not surprised you got arrested.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
He just told me that he goes squirrel hunting. NO LONGER BANGABLE.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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