Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
Lost my pants last night. Really need to stop taking shots of whiskey like I'm eating skittles.
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
