Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Why are handjobs necessary in class?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
How do I tell a friend I drunkenly broke into his house and may have lost his dog
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
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