so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Randomize
