shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
long story short... we may or may not have lost your car.
Randomize
