Your face is a jimmy john
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Having a dry hump session to Alvin and the chipmunks surprisingly didn't kill the mood. He's that good.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
I just KNEW this was gonna happen. NEVER say "all the free Jameson you can drink" around Tina.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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