it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
NoShamevember. You game?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize