how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I legitimately forgot how to blow my nose just now. Sleep might be handy.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
We're in the kiddy pool eating marshmellows and drinking wine out of a box. Please dress casual.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
