It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
I tell you, MacGyver never had to put up with people shitting themselves while he worked...
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
