i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
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