she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
