Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Randomize
