I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
Sacagawea was the original milf.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
