Me. At least after what I've been through.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
Randomize
