So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
