You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I fell into a manhole last night, so there's that
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
