ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
ttyl tear gas
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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