he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
Dude if i sent you a picture of the inside of my fridge would you be able to break down and explain everything that was in it?
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
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