Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Oh dear. If we're both hearing alien sounds then perhaps they're real.
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
I hooked up with a sophomore, passed out at midnight, and apparently drunkenly peed on Nicole's wedding invitation
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Randomize
