we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
