Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
He looked me deeply in the eyes and said "I don't want this to be the last time I see you.. Can I follow you on Instagram"
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
I woke up this morning hand cuffed to the bed with three bruised ribs and Amy written in lipstick on my chest... what happen lastnite??
Randomize
