your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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