and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
