It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
That's why you need to have them together. Katie started crying on the couch and she just gave her a tube of crackers and picked up a beer at the same time. She's like a goddess of making things chill
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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