yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
I had to assert my dominance as Alpha Drunk.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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