Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Randomize
