they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
She called to say the cops were not fake cops. some one has to go get her in an hour
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Randomize
