My first STD was from a foam party
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
Thank you blackberry messenger, for giving me a way to sext faster and more efficiently
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
