i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
MIDGETS
????
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
I just told the bartender to “give me something that will murder me”
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
