I just saw how many times I called you last night. You're welcome.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Call me in 2 minutes and go along with what I say. You're hysterical and I must go comfort you asap. He just asked if I was ready to experience sex with a wizard and he wasnt kidding.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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