Dude, you just left me a 3 minute voicemail of pop rocks in your mouth. Im sitting right next you
Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
He took off his priest costume and proceeded to dryhump the teletubby.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
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