I just realized that my mother and I have the same favorite sex position, Guess which one!
OMG! Ew.
Lucky Dad.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Got a high five from a Superman stripper tonight
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
