are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Randomize
