We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
You were trust falling into bushes
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
RESPOND QUICKLY THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!! LITERALLY AN 11 INCH DICK!!!!! HELP.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize