your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
We left an ass print on the piano.
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
I didn't know that all of his brothers would be hot and musical too. That's a dick move on behalf of biology.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
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