he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize