You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
If you don't answer the phone then I will be forced to leave you a wonderful voicemail of me throwing up
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
Randomize
