Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Randomize
