It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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