If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
Randomize
