how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
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