Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Hypothetically how does one go about throwing away a dildo?
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
Seriously. Come back. I've had two beers for breakfast so far. The third will be for lunch since it's already 12.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize