i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Randomize
