you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Hm. I declare blue a flavor.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
