That's intense
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
Long story short if you're going to get drunk on a sailboat at night leave your phone in the car.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
You tell anyone I'm rocking out to Pitbull in an economy, base-model car, I'll kill you.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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