I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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