But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
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