I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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