Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
I was looking up travel destinations and somehow I ended up reading Paul's first letter to the Corinthians. I need to start going to church high...
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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