We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
He told me that he's proud of our abnormalcy as a couple. I think it's the most romantic thing he's ever said.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
and you fell through a lawn chair
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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