I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
Randomize