cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
He was gone for 5 minutes, opened the car door and said, "Don't eat my shit." and dropped Chipotle on the passenger seat. He was gone for another 10 minutes and came back with Coldstone. That stoned.
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
