a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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