marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
You told him you were auditioning guys for your new show: "So You Think You Can Fuck."
Best pick-up line ever!
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Randomize
