I could have mohawked her pubes.
Topless wife handwashing shirt. Tonight marriage is good.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
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