ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
I couldn't open my car door and for a second I thought they were taking me to an intervention circle.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
The guy I met last night said we had a real connection and gave me his AA coin because he met me during his relapse
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
