Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Randomize
