i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
finals do horrible things to a person. i haven't worn pants since friday
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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